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Forum posts for Review of the Last Samurai

Posted by mike on Jan 26, 2004
Two words sum up The Last Samurai very well for me.

Before I tell you, keep in mind that the movie was fucking awesome, I am not saying that was anything less that that.

The Last Samurai was:
Confusingly Pointless.

Also, the point about their innability to change kind of answers some of the questions I had about thier fighting techniques in a more modern battle.

I was thinking..
Posted by phduffy on Jan 26, 2004
What's the plural of Samurai? Is it Samurais?

Or is Samurai already plural?
Posted by cosmicfish on Jan 26, 2004
sam·u·rai ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sm-r)
n. pl. samurai or sam·u·rais
The Japanese feudal military aristocracy.
A professional warrior belonging to this class.

[Japanese, warrior, from Old Japanese samurafi : sa-, pref. of unknown meaning + morafi, to watch, frequentative of mor-, to guard.]

what the fuck?
Posted by Katie on May 17, 2004
I'm not sure I can understand how anybody would choose to believe that The Last Samurai was a good movie. I don't even really think that it's worthwhile of being bolded.

TERRIBLE! It was a terrible movie. They basically took Braveheart, and transplanted it in Japan, complete with the barbaric army trying to beat the huge regimented army by using oil and flaming arrows as a surprise attack.

The only redeeming quality was the ninja attacks, but even then the lord, who everyone is sworn to protect, ends up backed into a corner with only the drunken Tom Cruise to help save him? I don't think so.

The love story was pointless, the story line with the kid could have been interesting if I actually thought it added to the plot but it didn't....because there was no plot! Oh sorry, there was a plot but it was one that has been recycled sooo incessantly in the past few years that I don't even notice it anymore. About half an hour from the end, I couldn't even be bothered to waste my time watching it anymore. And then to make it worse, he doesn't even die in the end????? What the fuck. Was that not the whole point?

Anyway, I hated the movie. And I also didn't enjoy Master and Commander, especially because it has Russell Crow in it, and an incredibly stupid story line about some doctor-wannabe-Darwin. STUPID!

What is with movies these days?????

Posted by phduffy on May 17, 2004
Katie, you're right.
The Last Samurai isn't a good movie.

It's a fucking great movie!

They basically took Braveheart, and transplanted it in Japan, complete with the barbaric army trying to beat the huge regimented army by using oil and flaming arrows as a surprise attack.

Uh... hello? Are you slightly retarded?
Do you realize what you said? You said they took Braveheart to Japan...., don't you realize what a fucking sweet idea that was?

And then to make it worse, he doesn't even die in the end????? What the fuck. Was that not the whole point?

What? No, of course that wasn't the point. The point was that the SAMURAIS! couldn't change, so THEY had to die. Not Tom Cruise. He was just to show us the awesome Samurais.

Movies these days kick ass, don't let anyone tell you any different.

Also, has anyone ever read the books that Master and Commander is based on? Is the doctor like that in the book?

My Vote
Posted by nszyngie on May 18, 2004
The Last Samurai rocked.
That dude (Samurai Lord) should have won an award.
Tell me you didn't want to visit Japan after seeing that movie, and see the history for yourself.
I vote for Pure Awesomeness.

Posted by phduffy on May 18, 2004
This is a guy movie.

Although cosmicfish liked it.

I agree with nsyngie, the dude that was the Last Samurai was quite excellent.
I hope he does as good a job in the new Batman movie.

Posted by nszyngie on May 18, 2004
is Samurai Lord going to be in the new Batman?

The issue
Posted by Miguel on May 18, 2004
Is not that Last Samurai is like Braveheart, to me its exactly like Dances With Wolves, complete with lame Kevin Costner sayings like "They are an intriguing people. . . . I have never seen such discipline" and "What does it mean to be samurai?" riiiiiight.

My breakdown:

+1000000 for ninjas
+500 for an alkie costner in the beggining
+500 for cool (but ripped off) battle sequences
-60000000000 for everything else.
and it loses because it has little kids.

Posted by Miguel on May 18, 2004
Alkie Costner= Alkie Cruise

See they are so similar that I got confused....assfaces.

Hey Kid, I'm a Computer
Posted by nszyngie on May 18, 2004
My math may be a little off here, but I still see you giving the movie a + 137.

Posted by phduffy on May 18, 2004
Miguel, I never would have guessed that you didn't like this movie.

I would have put money on the fact that you would love its awesomeness.

The first battle scene (with the mist and the samurais) was awesome. Other than that they were just battle scenes, but what do you expect? How many ways are there to fight a battle when you're on horses on a plain?

Part of the point of the movie is that Tom Cruise is supposed to be like Kevin Costner. That's why he's in Japan, because he understands Natives, so they hope that will help them with the Samurais.

You also forgot to give points for samurais, (in particular the crazy one that refuses to die) and for the awesomeness of the dude that's the last Samurai.

ASIDE: Nsyngie, he's going to be the bad guy (Rhal Al Ghul, which I probably spelled wrong) in the next Batman movie.

Finally, Miguel, I am going to tell you about the movies that you like.

See, you like movies where the characters and how they interact with each other and stuff (See: LIT, David Lynch). You are less interested in movies that depend on plot (See: Last Samurai, Mystic River, LOTR).
Both of these are in contrast to me. Also in contrast to me, you take off about a zillion points if a movie isn't completely original.
Finally, let's not forget about the "he liked it factor".
Basically, if I really like a movie, you are going to watch it and tell me it sucked.
On the other hand, if you really like a movie, I am going to watch it and tell you it sucked.

Oh yeah, in general I think people should avoid watching movies on Sunday night.
By then you're tired, maybe a little cranky, and less likely to enjoy the movie.

Porkchop Sandwiches
Posted by Miguel on May 18, 2004
I would like to believe that I don't actually set out to hate a movie that you like, I think it just happen's that we often like very different kinds of movies.

We actually both loved the Kill Bill's and usually can agree on the comedies, LIT not being a comedy to you so it doesn't count.

I do appreciate character development, but that definitely is not what it's all about for me. Pirates of the Caribbean is amazing and Narc&Dark Blue are both movies that I loved which have a classic cop movie plot.

It is true that I am willing to forgive way more in original movies than in formulaic ones. Happily guilty of that.

So to me Last Samurai is unforgivable. When I can predict every single moment in the movie within the first half hour, and be assaulted with Costnerisms every other doesn't make for a happy Miguel.

In a movie that is over two hours, you are happy with the only cool battles being the beginning one and the NINJA ATTACK? In Gladiator, an awesome epic, each and every one of the fight scenes were visceral, exciting and well done.

Master and Commander I liked way way more, it was authentic, with some witty lines and crazy naval warfare and swashbuckling.

I really really wanted to like this movie, I love samurais and awesomeness. It wasn't meant to be.

Posted by phduffy on May 18, 2004
Well obviously we both liked Pirates, have you ever heard of anyone that didn't like it?

It is true that I am willing to forgive way more in original movies than in formulaic ones. Happily guilty of that.

Oh yeah, i didn't mean that as a criticism, just an observation. I think that's true about you in general. (Well versus me anyways). You're more likely to give points to a book, movie, restaurant for being original then I am.

If you could predict every single moment within 30 minutes you have better predictive powers then me.
Actually, you may want to head to the Horse Races this weekend.

Disagree hard on Master and Commander.
It was a decent but not spectacular movie. I almost feel like it was false advertising. I went in expecting a sweet epic like Gladiator, LOTR, Last Samurai, and instead I got a bunch of people yelling at each other on a boat.

I'm not sure what you mean by saying that each scene in Gladiator was visceral. That's mostly my fault though.
It's funny that you mention Gladiator, cause the Last Samurai reminded me of it abit. I would have said that if you liked Gladiator you'll like the Last Samurai.
I will no longer say that.

Also, in one of these discussions you mentioned that you think the mood you're in while watching the movie has a big effect. I think that could be true, as I can't imagine you leaving the theatre with me, cosmicfish, Mike and others, and not thinking it was awesome. We had to go to the bar and spend the next 30 minutes discussing how awesome it was.

Different strokes for different folks.